This week Ivan & Red are all over 523-567 (Eddard, Arya, Sansa, Jon). They discuss Cantonese vs Mandarin, remembering to follow “the right of the game”, Ivan drops a string of impressive sounding bands, Stark learns he lacks the upper hand, Syrio is WAY more badass in text, Sansa sets new records for obliviousness, and Jon… kicks… Thorne… in… the… soup. Next week we cover pp 568-617 (Bran, Daenerys, Catelyn, and Tyrion).

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Book 14: Cersei is Clearly in Mourning
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Chapters covered this episode by Ivan and Red occur between pp 480-522 (Eddard, Daenerys, Eddard, Jon). We revisit Ned’s dream AGAIN, *something* happens to Robert from groin to nipple, Daenerys has a midnight snack, Viserys gets what was promised, and Jon gets the shaft. Next week we cover pp 523-567 (Eddard, Arya, Sansa, Jon).

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Book 13: Not Even Christopher Nolan Talks About Dreams This Much
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Book 12: Ned Has a Dream!

Kevin O’Shea (on twitter at @iamkevinoshea) joins Ivan and Red cover pp 431-479 (Catelyn, Jon, Tyrion, Eddard, Sansa). We revisit Ned’s dream sequence at the behest of our listeners, Tyrion’s trial by combat, religious overtones, Jon saving Tarley, Eddard sitting on a throne, and Sansa reading Tiger Beat. Next week we cover pp 480-522 (Eddard, Daenerys, Eddard, Jon).

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Book 12: Ned Has a Dream!
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Book 11: The Smoking Pole

Ivan and Red are joined by friend of the show Kelly Anneken in covering pp 385-430 (Daenerys, Bran, Tyrion, and Eddard). We cover six-breasted statues, John Carter, sweeping stables with 10,000 brooms, A People’s History of Westeros, Eskimo Bloodriders, anachronistic sluts, the Dothraki General Sherman, The Smoking Pole and much more. Listening to this podcast is an implicit contractual agreement to any and all business ideas expressed herein(jk). Next week we cover pp 431-479 (Catelyn, Jon, Tyrion, Eddard, Sansa)

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Book 11: The Smoking Pole
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Ivan and Red cover pp 338-384 (Arya, Eddard, Catelyn, and Eddard). Arya kisses some cats, Myrcella and Tommen are pugs, Barristan Selmy is agreeable, The Faceless Men charge a fortune, Catelyn CLIMBS AND CLIMBS AND CLIMBS, and Eddard sees some guards about a horse. Next week we cover pp 385-430 (Daenerys, Bran, Tyrion, and Eddard).

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Book 10: Catelyn Climbs and Other Interesting Tales
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Book 9: WHO GAVE THE HALF-MAN AN AXE?!

Ivan and Red cover pp 293-337 (Sansa, Eddard, & Tyrion). Sansa is struck dumb by a plethora of things, Petyr is creepy, Eddard and Varys talk shop, Ivan and Red discuss Stand-up comedy the role-playing game, and Tyrio- HOLY SHIT WHY DOES HE HAVE AN AXE?!. Next week we cover pp 338-384 (Arya, Eddard, Catelyn, and Eddard).

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Book 9: WHO GAVE THE HALF-MAN AN AXE?!
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Book 8: Tarley the Two-Eyed Craven

Ivan & Red cover pp 250-292 (Eddard, Jon, Eddard, Cat). Maester Pycelle does a good job of making himself seem untrustworthy, internal Ned is a genius, Sam Tarley the two-eyed craven weighs in at 280 lbs, the bullheaded bastard makes a bull head, and Cat calls her banner men just to catch up. Next week we’ll be reading pp 293-337 (Sansa, Eddard, Tyrion).

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Book 8: Tarley the Two-Eyed Craven
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Book 7: Gettin’ Crabs at The Wall

Ivan and Red cover Tyrion, Arya, Daenerys, and Bran (pp 203-249). Tyrion kicks it at the wall, Arya gets her dad to sign her up for dance class, Daenerys learns to ride, and Bran kicks it with Old Nan. Next week we’ll be reading 250-292 (Eddard, Jon, Eddard, Cat).

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Book 7: Gettin’ Crabs at The Wall
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Book 6: Westeros’ Spiderman is Weird

Ivan and Red cover Catelyn, Jon, and Eddard (pp 165-202). We get raving ravens from the Bannermen, The Spider and Littlefinger are introduced, Mimi from a Podcast of Ice and Fire says hey on our Facebook page, Jon keeps digging for an upside to the wall, and Eddard meets his future Eskimo brother. For questions, comments, or criticism, emails us at boarsgoreandswords@gmail.com Next week we’ll be reading 203-252.

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Book 6: Westeros’ Spiderman is Weird
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Book 5: Eddard the Lady Killer

Ivan and Red *chover* chapters Catelyn, Sansa, Eddard, and Bran (pp 128-164). Catelyn freaks out over Bran, Sansa goes sweet valley high on her dreamy sociopath, Eddard is a Lady killer, and Bran goes on an LSD trip with the 3-eyed crowed of happiness. Send comments, questions, corrections, feedback to @boarsgoreswords on twitter or email boarsgoreandswords@gmail.com.

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Book 5: Eddard the Lady Killer
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